My Valentine Date: A Lady's Instructions

While busily preparing to meet that special lady I have fought hard to mask the nervousness that had rendered all my limbs to tell her to be my valentine, Kwaku delivered a letter to me together with the chocolate I sent him to buy.

After dressing up all red, carrying that little present with red hearts on it, along with a red rose to celebrate with her, I decided to read through this boldly written on top "Know the rules" letter.

Aww, it was her, Ruky, that lady whose picture had become the screen saver to my mind for the past few days, this lady I wanted to manipulate the clock to meet at 8:00pm tonight.

This letter reads.....

My Dear Ben,

I have accepted your proposal to be your valentine today, I know today is 14th and there’s little chance that you have been paid, it is even possible that the money for today’s date came from your savings or a loan but it is worth it as long as it is not your rent allowance.

As we go out though, remember we are out on a valentine date and not a sexual invitation.

No kiss, no smooching, no fondling or anything that licensed couples have the power and privilege to do.

We will hug twice: first when I meet you and when we get to the crossroad after the outing.

Going out with you today doesn’t mean I love you in a romantic way or want to start working on something with you.

It doesn’t mean I will accept your next date request even if this turns out to be the best outing of my life.

Accepting your Valentine date today simply means of all the friends who requested for my hand in chilling, you’re the one I feel to go out with.

In view of this, today, I will be your best friend and be nice to you as I would do to any one.

Please, don’t introduce me as your girlfriend because I am not.

We may dance but please keep your distance and be a gentleman.

I turned down Zion, Fakye and Akwaa's request because I felt that was their motive and accepted yours because you came across as a gentleman and your Facebook posts suggests you have good moral virtues.

Please, I don’t take alcohol or anything that is not for persons under 18 even though I am six years older than eighteen (I won’t mind bringing my birth-cert to confirm this)

Yes, you will spend and I might eat and drink to the net worth of your weekly spending.

It still means nothing but just a date and not a booty call.

My advice to you is that just be yourself: don’t try too hard to impress me. If you can’t afford a Taxi or Uber, let us go with a Pragya and I will be fine. I won’t make demands, but whatever you give, I will accept in good faith.

After we are done having fun according to the above terms, don’t pressure me to go to your house or a guest house: I’m not that kind of woman.

I will give you your second and final hug for the day which wouldn’t last more than 3 seconds and leave quietly like the responsible virtuous lady I came.

Please, call me to confirm if you think this represent the exact date you have in mind or let call it a day if 'wo bɛ bɔ ka agu’

I mean let’s call it a day if you think you’d spend in vain.

I await your reply

Thank you....
Letter ends

It's 20 minutes to the scheduled time and am  holding the letter still immobilize with shock.

Every Valentine bi Valentine......

We are meeting Ruky, See u at  Stanford Bridge.....